Author's comment:

I have a bunch of interesting concepts swirling in my head with no stories to attach them to. I tried to formulate one of them as an Asimovian short story, but I didn't get far. Instead I bastardised the idea a bit and tried to stick in some jokes. Too bad I couldn't think of a good punchline.

I don't know if people will get this, but when Jesus says "That's my name, don't take it in vain" it's a play on "That's my name, don't wear it out".